And I'm wondering how the fuck did we get to the point where there's only two episodes left? Can someone please explain to me where the past five years have gone? I'm not ready for the season finale and I think it's because next year may really, truly be the end of the show and that makes me sad in my pants.
So. Who's up for a massive rewatch of all five seasons this summer? Hands? Just me?
It's always fun going back and reading old fics. If you like cringing and shaking your head and wondering just what the hell you were thinking, you know?
At least I'm using it as an opportunity to re-edit them. I can't believe how much I used the word AS. Like, I used it all the time. Even now, I have to be careful and go back through and edit what I write because for some reason, the words in my head just flow that way. At least now I recognize it as a fault and can correct it. As a writer, it's interesting to me to see how my writing has grown and changed over the years. Especially when I'm editing a fics I wrote three, four years ago. Some of you guys were still in high school or even middle school then! Crap, that's like half a millennium in lj-land.
Anyway. To all that have wondered or asked, it appears I'm in the planning stages for a sequel to i used to know you so well. So, good news, yay? And with all my massive fic endeavors, I like to create a playlist to listen to while writing. What are your songs that remind you of Sam and Dean? Or if you're a fan of my work, girl!Sam?
Hook me up, peoples!
And for you, this is MY girl!Sam song, and one of my absolute favorites of all time: Patty Griffin - I Said to the Sky. The melancholy of the lyrics and the raw power of her guitar and voice, the heartbreak and the anger bleeding through gets me every freaking time, makes me ACHE.
( You give me nothing but dust, all of these miles after milesCollapse )
Finally, I've been listening to lots of podfics lately and think I may like to try my hand at recording some of my stuff. It'll definitely be trial and error and knowing me, I may get one or two fics done and then grow bored of the whole thing. I've downloaded Audacity and think I may go hunt down a relatively cheap microphone tomorrow.
My whims, let me show you them.
At first, I thought it was just allergies and then the allergy medicine didn't work and now my nose is stuffed up yet still constantly running, my throat and lips are dry and my eyes are red and puffy.
I'm a beauty queen, believe me. You envy me.
I'm miserable and sleepy and smelly and need to go to work tonight.
Listen, here's the thing about me: I'm a complete and utter BABY when I get sick. I want to be pampered, I want to whine and moan and lay about pitifully. I want my husband to bring me soup and juice while I watch trashy television I've DVR'd for just this occasion. I want my kids to come in and hug me and tell me, "Feel better, Mommy."
Instead I've got to go to work and smile and answer phone with a stuffed up nose, sounding like Elmer Fudd.
Right now, the weather is beautiful. I've got the windows open and a lovely flower-scented breeze is wafting over me. The house is silent, the only sound the wind rustling the newly born leaves on the trees.
I have a new book on my leg and comfy pajamas on.
This is my moment of peace.
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
The ENTIRE weekend.
Whatever are we going to do with ourselves? If it was ten years ago, we'd probably be in bed all weekend humping like rabbits. But alas, we're old now. I'll count it as a win if we get to go at least once this weekend.
Tonight we have tickets to a local comedy club and we have a designated driver. Granted, the designated driver is MY DAD, but still, ability to drink a few drinks and not have to worry about work tomorrow, feeling guilty for not writing OR Alex waking me up at 7 am? BLISS.
I'm in that strange place right now between writing stories. i used to know you so well has been a part of my consciousness since last August and now that I'm done with it, I feel strangely empty or something. I don't know exactly how to explain it.
I couldn't even watch the Supernatural last night, feeling the need to savor the new episode for just a few more days before breaking down and watching the boys be boys again.
What do you do the help relieve post-story let down? Jump right into the next one or do you take a few days off to regroup?
pairing(s): girl!sam/dean, girl!sam/sam, sam/dean
warnings: AU, incest, violence
word count: 33250
notes: Written for the Apocalyptic Big Bang challenge. Thank you so much to twivamp92 for the awesome beta, everything is right because of her, all mistakes are mine. Very huge thanks must go out to britomart_is, who_favor_fire and thatfilmgirl for the invaluable feedback and cheerleading.
summary: The Devil has a contingency plan.
“—there’s a dead girl on your porch.”
fanmix: Gravity and Graceful Plans by twivamp92
- Current Mood: accomplished
But thanks to the ABC/Cablevision fucktarded thingy going on, guess I won't be.
Cablevision's not having a good year.
My 13 year old made this.
It's Edward Elric from Full Metal Alchemist, her newest obsession.
I'm really proud of her.
I got a pretty talented kid if I say so myself! Also, see what the dog did to my window and my curtain? At least big dogs don't sit on the back of your couch and bark at every little thing that passes by. Stupid dog.
edited to add...
It really shouldn't be this difficult to write a heterosexual sex scene. I mean, come on! Maybe the house is too quiet or something? Or maybe I'm just procrastinating because once this scene is done I'm only one away from finally finishing this son of a bitch story.
Rating: PG-R ish
Warnings: Violence, incest
Notes: Thank you so much to liebesdammerung for the quick and dirty beta. Written for picfor1000. Mine's here. Title from Mirah’s Bones and Skin
feedback would be awesome.
( “You start bleeding yet, little girl?”Collapse )
- Current Mood: giggly
(I'm watching the S1 season finale,the scene with Nate and his son? *sobsobblobbitysobmesssob*
summary: somethings she just has to learn the hard way
Bar voices melt into a static hum, townies and stragglers left on campus over the holiday using the New Year to drink to oblivion. Earlier, her intentions were the same but as the night wore on the buzz didn’t come.
The melancholy did.
Sober, she stepped outside, arms crossed against her chest, breath misting before her.
Missing him, she leaned against the wall and dialed his number. Somewhere, a clock chimed midnight.
Six rings before the message started. “You know what to do.”
“Hey…Dad, um, happy New Year.”
Severing the connection, she whispered, “I miss you both so much.”
Happy New Year everyone! I hope 2010 brings us all health, happiness and prosperity! (I have to be up at 5 am for a 6-2 shift, so I'm bidding 2009 adieu early!)
And because I'm a horrible panda who forgets things, thank you so, so much to speedcat93 for the lovely vgift and to deirdre_c for the e-card on Christmas! They were both very much appreciated!
Sam takes a deep breath, reaching above her and using the car to help her stand. “Lucifer’s host is rotting out from under him. It won’t last much longer. He knows where I am and he’s coming back. He wants his vessel and it’s not me he’s after.”
Dean instinctively pushes her back against the car, forearm across her throat. “What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything,” she cries, grabbing at his arm, Converse glancing off his shins. “He doesn’t know where Sam is! I didn’t tell him anything.” She takes a shallow breath of air and gasps, “he can’t find him, can’t find you, you’re hidden somehow. I’m not. I need to leave to protect him, to protect you.”
“You don’t owe us anything. Why wouldn’t you just tell Lucifer we’re right here?”
Sam rolls her eyes and makes a fuck you noise in the back of her throat, same noise their dad used to make when Sammy would get bitchy and then apologize, before the apologizing stopped and it got really bad, before they came to blows and black eyes, before Sam left them both for good.
Dean’s struck again, holy motherfucking shit, this girl isn’t lying and he’s wondering just how the fuck he dealt with a girl up in his junk all the time, with puberty, leg hairs dulling his razor and those boobs constantly near, a sister and then she’s shoving him off, swiping her wet face with the arm of her borrowed hoodie. “Seriously, you need to ask me that question? I’m a fucking Winchester, asshole.”
One of these days my fingers will fly across the keyboard again. I know what's going to happen next, I just can't get my brain and my fingers to connect and just get it out. Who cares if it sucks at first? Isn't that what editing is for?
Why you gotta be like that? It's like summer all over again.
Apparently I'm all in, balls-out kinda gal.
So anyway, that's where I've been the last few weeks, reading, reading, reading.
Now, I've got to pick up where I left off on my sam/dean/girl!sam opus and try, oh my god, try to not continually edit during my read through.
See what happens? I set a deadline for myself and then screech to a freaking halt on writing.
The hair on my arms and at the back of my neck is standing on end watching this episode.
These boys are going to kill me, I swear to God.
So with Friday Night Lights starting, I'm finding myself in the mood to read some SPN/FNL cross overs. Preferably Sam/Tyra, Dean/Tyra or Sam/Tyra/Dean. But I'll read anything, Gen, Het, Slash, etc.
Please? Pretty please with a candy corn on top?
There's got to be some awesome icon makers out there, right?
Who's your go to artist? Where'd you get that shiny one you're using?
Hook me up, please!
- Current Music:portishead - numb
warnings Adult, incest, early season one, very AU.
notes So, I’m in the process of writing this epic girl!Sam/Dean/Sam fic and because of that, I keep getting these little glimpses in my head of girl!Sam/Dean’s past. This is one of them. Comments and concrit welcomed, unbeta’d.
( It's like trying to slap a new coat of paint on a house that's crumbling and decaying underneath, ugly and sad and broken.Collapse )
- Current Mood: tired
We had a rough night last night. Everytime he'd fall asleep his pulseox would drop down to 89 and the alarm would go off, waking both of us up. Then he had to have breathing treatments every 3 hours. About 2 hours of interrupted sleep for both of us. We're both cranky.
Good news, he's negative for flu.
Doc is hopeful we'll be able to go home later tonight. (Which is good because I've been in the hospital for 24 hours so far and I think I'm starting to smell.)
Keep us in your thoughts, okay?
Because then maybe we could've had ( thisCollapse )
How fucking hot does Adrienne look in that picture?
Can someone write an AU of this? Where Jess is pregnant with Sam's baby and totally kicking ass and killing monsters? Because that would be AWESOME.
Edited, just to say I can't wait for this movie to come out because holy hell, do I want crossover fics with Supernatural, ALREADY!
Edited, AGAIN, this time to add a link to the movie's website where there's a pretty intense trailer. I'm partial to the restricted one, but the normal trailer's pretty awesome too. Michael vs Gabriel, FTW!
- Current Mood: creative
Because my husband snores like a sawing logs motherfucker. It's LOUD.
But, alas, the tv in the bedroom is the one with the DVR that has the Vampire Diaries saved which I may have just spent the last few days in a cold pill induced haze overdosing on the books. I just started The Return tonight. I actually spent $18 on the hardcover instead of just downloading it from somewhere. I must be sick.
I honestly thought I was done with vampire fiction. I thought I had all the Twilight crap out of my system and I'd just concentrate on Supernatural for awhile.
I GET SUCKED BACK IN. BY THIS.
Holy crap, HOT.
So, I've spent the weekend mainlining books that apparently take place in 1991, which mean they're my contemporaries and the main protagonist is a gorgeous blue-eyed blonde who everybody LOVES including the two vampire brothers. Which you know, GAGS me A LOT.
But still I read, because I've watched the last five episodes in quick succession and I AM NOT PATIENT. Because I need to have at least some idea of where this series is going. Because I can't decide who I like more, DAMON OR STEFAN. UGH!
And because I keep looking at THIS.
And then I thank my lucky stars someone decided to pair this show with Supernatural on Thursdays.
- Current Music:black sunday afternoon - anna ternheim
sequel to murder now the path of must, for ephemerall who wanted more.
beta by the lovely thatfilmgirl, everything is right because of her, mistakes are all mine.
title from Down by Jay Sean
warning adult, incest, pre show, very AU.
( because when school starts in the fall she’s pretty damn sure there won’t be any other girl who killed someone over their summer vacation and had their brother’s tongue in their mouthCollapse )
- Current Mood: tired
warning off page attempted rape of main character and murder of oc
he doesn’t remember anything until he swings open the car door, violence in his belly, stabbing deep
Pre show, very AU. Beta by the lovelytwivamp92, everything is right because of her. Mistakes are all mine.
Title from Sober, Tool
( “I need you to come,” she sobs out the last word, “—home.”Collapse )
- Current Mood: tired
It's Friday and I'm off until Sunday. Again with the only two days off. I'm not liking it, NOT at all. I don't know how I used to work a normal 9-5, 5 day work week, two days off normal job. I feel for you people, I really do. I like being able to sleep late, stay up late and have three days off in a row. If I really, really wanted to, I could work three days, 12 hours and have FOUR days off in a row. The only thing stopping me is it would have to be over the weekend. I don't have much of a life, but what little life I do have happens on the weekend.
So anyway, I ended up in Philly on Tuesday for a last minute-the stars aligned just right with kid care and work coverage so I could go-seminar hosted by Disney.
Sadly, one of the first things the speakers did was go around the room and ask random people what memory stands out the most from their last visit to Disney World. And here's me, sitting on my hands, hoping they don't stick the microphone in my face because do I really want to tell them about our last day there, how the kennel called to tell us Brody died? And then me and the kids cried and I kept crying and had to sit alone in the corner of some random outside restaurant until I got myself under control? Then Scott proceeded to drink his way through the rest of the countries? And we ended up getting in the absolute worst fight (it made Ash cry and ask my sister if we were going to get a divorce) in MGM (which isn't MGM anymore, but I can't remember what they call it) later on that night.
So yeah. Much, much relieved they didn't call on me. And wow, I realized I have some memory sensitive issues with Disney, which is completely NOT their fault. Hopefully, the kids have better memories of our trip then I do.
Supernatural 5x04 The End last night. HOLY CRAP, I LOVE THIS SHOW SO, SO MUCH! thatisall.
And finally, I have this girl!Sam/Dean ficlet that I'm working on that may be triggery for some people and I'm gonna need to put warnings all over it. Can anyone tell me how to do that gray out thing where you highlight for warning?
My daughter is thirteen. The thought of a grown man doing something like this to her or any other thirteen year old fills me with homicidal rage. I hate Roman Polanski. I've never seen a movie of his, will never. I'm really sorry, dude, that your wife and unborn child were murdered by a bunch of cult psychos, but doing this after, I don't care how many fucking years ago, is disgusting.
I don't care if he's a genius. He raped a CHILD, plead GUILTY and then RAN to another COUNTRY.
I am five minutes into this weeks Supernatural and it's 3:25 am in the morning. I have to be up in three hours to get my kids ready for school. I have not read anyone else's reactions yet. I don't know if I'll have the opportunity to.
I love this show so FUCKING much.
I don't care who's fucking who, who's shipping who or who's a Dean girl, a Sam girl or a Cas girl.
I just want to love my show, and not take sides. And not feel fucking bad because I refuse to do so.
So, new layout. I really, really like my header picture. So much so, I think blue's rapidly becoming my new favorite color.
So far today I've been awakened at 8.30 by annoying little seven year old, wanting me to keep him company in the living room while he watches Spongebob and eats his mini muffins. I talked the husband into going out for breakfast and then proceeded to sneeze five hundred million times and blow out my eardrum five times while blowing my nose.
My allergies are KILLING me this year.
Scott pulled my orange box from the upper shelf in the garage and all my yummy Fall smelling Yankee Candles melted on their side.
I think we're going to drop the kids off at my moms and go see Jennifer's Body this afternoon. A grown up movie! Finally.
I know, even I'm putting myself to sleep with this entry, so instead have a meme!
day one. a song
day two. a picture
day three. a book/ebook/fanfic
day four. a site
day five. a youtube clip
day six. a quote
day seven. whatever tickles your fancy
day one. del ray :: hell hound on my trail/walking after midnight
to go to sleep now because I can easily sleep until 8 pm tonight. I don't know why this seemed such a good idea last
And I've been watching America's Funniest Home videos
for the last five hours. I think I'm starting to vet loopy.